Hurt and Despair

You know I try to treat everyone with respect and with compassion. I go out of my way for everyone I know. Friends, Family, and strangers it doesn't matter who it is I will do what I can for them... whether it is money, a shoulder, a hug, a home, or what ever it is that is needed. I love people I believe in them, trust them... and enevitably I am always shot through the head and heart. I don't understand why this happens... I don't know what i do to deserve this... I get the "I don't want to talk to you"... No explaination, the lies, the hurt... I cry myself to sleep... I spend wakeless nights... I sit in the shower and cry and cry while my heart breaks in tooo... all for what ---- Something that Means absolutely nothing... my friendship, my love, my compassion, my---- means so very little to anyone... that i can just be cut by the deceit... and left for "dead" as if i were nothing... not even a glimmer of in ones eye... People go "I Love You" but it means nothing... i find that they didn't love me at all... just wanted to use me... and as i always i fall for it... I believe it... and those damn little words bring me in and then tear me apart... Why do I mean so little to people... why is it ... I do not know....