Marriage and Singledom

You know in a million years i never would have thought that I would be single, divorced, and alone at 42 but I am. I really crave Marriage at times because i see my parents, sister and brother, my grandparents and so many others who have found the one and made it permanant. I wish things in this life could be different but it hasn't happened. I am not knocking being single though there are a lot of positive things being single and to be honest i have grown to enjoy it. but I still crave that one step that i havne't had. It is like all the things that go on in my life. just once i wish i could share that with a significant other and be able to hear their opinion instead of just going on my own... but I make due... or i stumble through it all on my own. well that was on my mind today...

Stress and Walking

Some people would say that I don't work in a high stress job. But those who know my boss would say different. Everyday there is a new set of problems. Either real or imagined. Some days it would seem that I can handle things better than others but in reality it is just that I handle it the same way just some days I am quieter than others. But stress is destructive to body, mind and soul. I know that high levels of stress can cause high blood pressure, diabetes, mental anguish, sleepless nights and a lot of tears. and with job stress on top of everyday life stress sometimes it becomes too much. I have yet to find the right thing that would allow me to get through it better than I have. But somethings that I have done are these: psychologist, drugs, walking, eating and so forth. Well I am trying to do away with two of those things... the eating and drugs... So that leaves walking and psychologist. Walking seems to work the best because a person can get a lot of thought out of the way when walking. also a lot of anger out when walking. When I walk I talk the whole time a lot of the time i probably look like a maniac talking to myself as I walk down the street but it helps me get it out in the open and actually hear what I am struggling with. I know for the first part of my walk I am usually cussing and getting the anger out, I have a lot of anger due to my boss. Then I start on the last part of my job reasoning out everything. I don't need an ipod of music to walk to because my cadence at first is usually fast and hard. then as I calm down i slow and cool off. benefits are of walking stress relief and sleep a deep sleep. oh and of course losing weight... So if you see me walking and talking if i am walking fast don't stop me or you might get in on my ire. And no i am not nuts... just trying not to become that way.

When you just have to have it.

Last night when I got home I was hungry for a pizza. I used to order a pizza from Mazzios and eat on it for a couple of days.... It was always so good lots of meat, cheese, sauce, dripping in oils but not any more... I just don't need it. but I am going to tell you an old Weight Watchers trick. And Jodi can tell you that they were good... but take a Tortilla (I use Mission Low Carb Whole Wheat) but any Tortilla would do well... that is your Crust. Place two tablespoons of your favorite Spagetti Sauce or even Pizza Sauce (I love Ragu) then top with what you want. and then bake. The crust gets crunchy, the cheese is melty and it just taste like a great homemade pizza. I have seen several other sites that use this same trick and have the recipes. One is the blog I follow: http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com/ she really has some great ideas some i never thought of. But with one of these little flavorful jewels and I have my pizza fix. I try now never to withhold from myself. If I want something the best way is to find an alternative that works. Or just eat a small amount. I always found that if I felt deprived of something that was the worst thing because I would eventually run and eat the "whole" thing instead of being cautious. well this is my thoughts on my pizza fix

Well I had a moment today

I had to tell you all that I had a moment of heavy thought today. I actually am losing weight because my belly didn't touch the steering wheel. I know that you all don't understand it or maybe you do. But I actually would get into the Truck and behind the wheel and half the time my shirt was unbuttoned because the steering wheel would rub against my shirt and the buttons would open up. oh its a great feeling to be able to get behind the wheel and not touch it.

50 lbs lost. Yippee

Hey everyone... I have lost 50 lbs. I got on the scales this morning and i have done it. Yipee. can you hear me shouting. Dr. Khouw had taken me off all my meds but yesterday because my sugars still hadn't gotten below 120 he put me back on one pill. can you believe it... i can't it is like a miracle and I still can't believe it. Of course I am still going through withdrawal from all the drugs... you never understand how that feels until you go through it. but I am almost drug free and I am going to be thin. This was the best thing I could have ever done. and even with all the throwing up I would still do it again and again.

BP'ing and Slimming

Well I had a very interesting weekend. I learned two new vocabulary words. BP'ing and Slimming. Now don't try to look these things up because they don't exist in Websters. Of course by the end of my journey they probably will.

BP'ing a lovely word not something that you ever consider but it actually means Burping Productively. Oh by this you wonder what this means. Well it is simple you get gas from something you ate and then the gas builds until you start to feel it getting ready to come out. Only it is not the stinking air you think it is. It is heavily fortified with what you ate. Your stomach rumples tosses and turns and oh and then the pain begins. it is only at this time that everything comes back up. And it doesn't matter what the food was it may have been something you ate all the time or it may have been something trivial... oh yeah it is so pleasant especially driving on a highway when it hits. Of course that was my fault because i shouldn't have been eating on the run. A big big no no with lap band or for that matter any time. All I could think about was pulling over and throwing up just to feel better. But next that is the biggie.

Slimming.... oh that sounds like a good word. slimming that dress looks slimming or those pants look slimming n you but that is not what it means in the WLS (weight loss surgery) world. It means that you ate something too fast or too large (remember no bigger than a pencil eraser), you gulped air or gulped water. It hits you right away there is no waiting or stopping no waiting to see if it passes. Your saliva builds up to where it is choking you or feels like you have a thick fluid in your throat oh and it keeps building until you are frothing... yes i said frothing and foaming from the mouth and you begin to regurgitate. Oh you spend several minutes just foaming the the real food comes out... only it is foamy. your stomach is a mess... your sinuses are leaking you feel like hell and the only thing that helps is keeping very still, DRINK NOTHING, and hoping you survive to go again. Then after all that the only thing you can eat is shakes, liquids and of course the hot tea. Lots and lots of hot tea.

My favorite hot tea has become TAZO calming... it is actually not a strong tea and something that I can keep down.

Oh I found a recipe on DVO and i will publish it here.

Baked Salmon with cucumber-Dill dip.

1 - 4 oz Salmon Fillet
salt and pepper
lemon juice

bake in oven on 350 for 25 minutes or until salmon is flaky and opaque (means pink and not see thru)
Dip
1/2 cup of diced cucumber ( i used the regular but and English would be nice)
1 teaspoon of dill weed (actually i used more like 3 teaspoons but I like the taste of dill)
salt and pepper
2 table spoons of Sour Cream (I used 2% Greek Yogurt instead of Sour Cream because i needed the protein)
lemon juice
2 green onions diced small

Mix all with spoon and spread over fish when fish comes out of oven

Now most of you know I am a country girl that never ate a fish that wasn't battered and fried. But this was actually good. I am getting better at eating fish which is not a strong point.

well that is all for tonight. I hope that everyone had a great weekend.

Grossed out completely

Well after the last two nights of listening to the News here in Oklahoma I am totally grossed out. Definately keeping in mind that I will never ever eat chocolate candy again. Bugs were found in several chocolate bars in an Oklahoma Supermarket. Actual live wiggling bugs. They showed the family that found them in their candy just purchased from the store and they had eaten most of the chocolate before they saw the worms. Oh my if that doesn't just gross you out. Tonight it was stated that according to the Federal Government that of the chocolate sold in stores as candy you will find about 60 bug body parts in a chocolate bar. I think of the many that I ate over the years. I wonder just how many bug parts are still in me. A former representative of a Chocolate company said that the finding was not unsual and not the worst that he had seen. I know that just by listening to this I am definately not in the least bit interested in Chocolate Candy bars of any kind. He stated that when the supermarket chains store the chocolate near pet food that the bugs crawl out of the bag and burrow into the chocolate bar and lay their eggs in the nuts in the chocolate. Oh if anyone eats this again should have their head examined. Ok i now have the shivers. Good thing I had Lapband and no longer really can eat that stuff. Now my poor babies... bugs in the dog food... definately going to really start checking into their food.

It's Just in the Blood

You know I grew up on a working farm. Horses, Cows, Pigs, Chickens, and a Garden. My parents still live there. For too many years I have tried to moved long and far away from that scene i didn't want but you just never know what you do or don't want. Last year I hurriedly put in a couple of tomato plants, peppers, onions and several other things. And had a blast doing that. I loved getting fresh veggies out of my garden. And even with just the few there was so much produce I was freezing a lot of it that I ate on through the winter. Well this year i have been planning a lot more. A larger area to grow things. More things to grow. Pulled out my topsy turvy planters and have them ready and have ordered my plants. I Bought an Aero Garden last year and so this year I ordered seeds for Fresh Herbs. I am thinking very seriously of getting large containers to put them in. Fresh Basil, Rosemary, Oregano. Garlic Chives... Oh I can't wait to get those things in the Ground and start watching them grow. Now I just have to find a rototiller to get this started because my plants need to be in the ground between March 11 and March 23. And that is not too far away

Something that just Clicked

Well I am not sure if this is something that everyone knows but somehow it just sort of clicked with me. It's about diets. I have been going over and over everything in my mind about how calories work, protein works, carbs work and so forth and this morning on my way to work it clicked. I think I have been sleeping on it too long and it just popped into my head. OK I decided that if I wanted to be 150 lbs or so I needed to go on a good diet and I say diet because I am cutting back on the food and limiting myself on what I can eat. I know that many people call it a lifestyle change and it is because it is something that I will have to be with the rest of my life but in my mind it is still a diet and how i need to eat. Well this is my clicked moment. If i want to be 150 lbs I need to eat like 150 lbs. Most recommend that you eat like a 265 lbs cut back on calories by 500 and you lose a lbs a week. But I thought if i want to be 150lbs I eat like that. So most good diets statistics say 150 lb woman should eat between 1000 to 1200 calories. OK easy enough i say well not that easy when you are used to eating like a hayhauler on his last meal before hauling hay. OK so knowing that I need 1200 carbs how do i go about figuring out the protein, carbs and fats. well as you know i am an accountant by degree and numbers really do come easy for me so I sat down and researched. Being single allows me to do that because in the evening I have plenty of time not that i am complaining just i have plenty of time. So in my research, which i have to say is boring as all get out so many have different ideas about how much of this and how much of that and how you count it but I narrowed it down for myself. because of my diabetes, which by the way never goes away just into remission if you eat right, I need a low carb diet. But I want to keep my muscles, my hair, my memory, and my engine going so I need to fill in those other calories with Protein and Fats. And not wanting to get fat and have heart problems I need to mainly fill it with protein and not so much fat. So this is my formula that I have figured out.

To figure my Protein grams per day I should have half of my calories in Protein.

My Calories (1200) divided in half (600) equals my Protein calories which means this is how much of my Calories should be in Protein per day. And by all accounts 4 calories equal 1 gram of Protein. So I should have 150 grams of Protein a day.

To figure my Carb grams per day my carb calories should be no more than 25% of my diet. I don't need the added sugar in my life. I am now pill free and insulin free so I don't want to go back.

My calories (1200) times 25% equals 300 carb calories a day. And by those doctors and researchers in the world 4 calories equal 1 carb gram so on a 1200 calorie diet 75 grams is all I need a day. And if you cut it even closer you won't lose weight.

Now to figure my fat grams per diet and that was an easy one... if I have 50 % protein, 25% carbs the other should be 25 % FAT, that means the Mono and the polyunsaturated stuff not so much the saturated and the trans. 9 calories = 1 gram of fat. so i need 33 grams of fat a day.. not over.

OK to review this is what I figured out for a 1200 calorie diet... I need 150 grams of Protein, 75 grams of Carbs and 33 grams of Fat.

well that is what i will be doing when I actually get up to 1200 calories a day right now I am stuck around 900 to a 1000...and I figure all this by writing every thing that goes through my lips down on a piece of paper or you could do like I do and go to www.fitday.com and use their Food Diary and you don't even have to remember any formulas...

OK that is my hmmm moment for the day...

Of course I still have to figure out the exercises component and how it affects the above items and how to adjust but that is for later research.

wow what an eye opener

Well last night I desided to find out how much I was actually eating before WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) and it added up. Lord I was eating 2500 to 3000 calories a day. Its amazing being a single woman I would just stop and grab a bite on the way home. Why cook just easy to stop and pick up. Well those little stops added up. and now i am down to eating between 800 to 1200 per day. that is a big change.

Chloe last night had an attack. She had snuck off the bed about midnight to go snooping and little did she know she was going to stick her nose in the wrong place. Pugs by nature are Nosey and just plain out and out Curious. Well last night in the dark Miss Chloe was trying to get to her treats. and knocked the box over spilling everything. she ran fast and hard into the bedroom and under the bed barking the whole time. It took me 30 minutes to get her back on the bed and another 1 just to get her to lay down.

My cousin Katherine gave me a new website to try Eatingwell.com it has some really good recipes.

well that is all for now.

A very Cool Site

OK Guys I am really getting into this diet thing... but I found a Really Very Cool Site.... www.caloriesperhour.com Only thing is when you go to start Calculating what you used to eat... It will make you sick.

OH on a good note.... 47 lbs gone... since January 9, 2009.... this is great great great... high protein, low carb, right fats... I am getting it

Found another cool website for all of you out there that need the nutrition facts on your recipes http://www.nutricook.com I know that I have to keep this information so it helps out a lot

Did you ever think...

Wow did you ever think about how some people are unobservant and clueless about things even the important things in life--their children. Yesterday I was at Wally-World when this lady with 5 children all between the ages of 3 to 9, was looking in the frozen foods section i am not even sure that she even knew what she was looking at. when her children 4 of which were inside the buggy standing up and the oldest pushing it, started out pushing the buggy fast down the aisle. The children inside were screaming and being loud and they were dodging other people or items that were on the floor. the woman who was pushing her own cart full of food just said "hey stop that" and went back to looking in the freezers. Of course the children didn't until a manager came over and said something to the woman and that only lasted for about two seconds... it took another 5 minutes of the kids running through the fresh veggies before the cart tipped and all were thrown out before the mom actually took notice. all kids were crying, one had a bloody nose and the mother was screaming at the kids, the manager and anyone nearby before she grabbed up her kids and stalked out to the parking lot.

Well yesterday was a bad day I didn't really feel well but I kept doing my diet thing then the unthinkable happened... I had placed my 2/3 cup of food on my plate I ate slowly and in the end i still threw up. I don't know if I am over eating or what I ate that was so bad. I had fixed on of my mini pizzas. 1/2 of a whole wheat tortilla, crushed tomatoes, hamburger meat and cheese. My band is not filled yet but I know if I eat too much i throw it all back up. and then my stomach is messed up. So all liquids today.

Well "the girls" were funny last night. (the girls are my three pugs). were playing in the yard last night running and chasing each other when I saw Chloe (the youngest) get the biggest stick in the yard. she was running with her neck bent back pulling this limb the others were chasing close behind when Chloe ran into one of their toys tripped over it and the other two Blossem and Daisey tripped over her... it is funny. Well got to run... Have a great day.

Good Evening My first Post

Well this is my first post. This is kind of exciting to say the least. I am sitting here watching or half way listening to The Last Templar it's not a bad movie. Well a little about me. I am a new Lap Bander as of January 22, 2009. So I will hopefully be losing weight and get down to my skinny self. I will post pictures when I deem it necessary or when i feel I have changed enough for notice. I am 42 years old. Very single for you guys out there, pretty happy about being single but am not going to pass up a chance to not be single if the right situation comes around. I have a daughter Jodi who used to be my entire life but she graced me with a beautiful boy named Gavyn that took up part of that she had. Oh and then there is her husband who is pretty special too his name is Doug. I have three special girls in my life Blossem, Daisey and Chloe, all are my fur babies who have sweet faces, btw they are pugs. I was diagnosed about 10 years ago with diabetes so you will probably hear me bitch about that or since lapband maybe i will be yelling for joy... well that is all about me for now. going back to watch my movie. Oh by the way i am a movie buff, passionate cook, quiltingaholic, dog lover, scrapbooking nut and a genealogist. Oh and I do all that along with my real job as an accountant for a small oilfield company.