Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Next Meal

Have you watched Lord of the Rings they talked about "Fourth Meal". Well as a Fat person I always always think about my next meal. Something I have thought about for a while now. Why is it that I do think about my "next" meal. I think about what I want how i am going to get it an dhow much I want to eat of it and what all i want with it. then it is on to thinking about the "next " meal. I have no doubt that is why I am the way I am. Could it be because I have a need to fulfill. I don't know I don't even know if it is the "comfort" I need. Or because I use food to cover over all my problems... I do know that food is a habit though... Like a cigarette or a drug. I have come to that conclusion that I use it just like a Junkie would a drug. But I am not sure what it gives me in return... I eat until i was miserable so i would feel bad so there was no pleasure in it.... I would find myself eating without even thinking so ... what it is about Food that me as a Fat person needs or craves... it is like this weekend all i could think about is the next snack or next meal. I was bored and that was all i could think about was food. It wasn't a single thing I was craving it was just I don't know what to do with myself and sooooo lets eat. I have got to change this mind set. On the Obesityhelp.com web site people talk about "real" hunger and "head" hunger.... I think that I have always caved in to any hunger whether head or real. so is this just a thing with "fat" people... I know that it is with me and that is why I am fat... getting skinny but still fat.... also i wonder if it gets better... I sure hope so because I dislike thinking about the "next" meal knowing that I need to think about other things instead

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