Well I am back

hey everyone, i am back... hmmm nothing like a little bleeding blood vessels to stop a person from typing or reading on the internet. diabete's is an unforgiving disease. You never cure it, it never goes away, it can go into remission.... but it is forever with you. So you must be on top of it at all times. Low Carb dieting, counting calories obviously watching sugar content. At times I am very fustrated at it because why must I be inflicted with it when others in my family are not. what made me the choice persone for this. Well a lot of bad choices and lots and lots of weight gain. now back to the bleeding blood vessels. Do you know what Macular Edema is? Well it is the swelling of bloodvessels in your eyes and also the growing of new weaker blood vessels. well those itty bitty blood vessels burst or have weak spots.... Not a fun thing to watch when you are driving. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Diabetic_macular_edema.jpg take a look at that... now while i may say my eyes are bleeding not one person can see it on the outside of my eyes... but i can see it from the inside.... accross my vision i can see lines that burst out and then feather like blood in water... I can actually see it happening. then my eyes become foggy because blood covers my vision so i am looking through bloody water only i don't see red i see dark. now because of this i have to have laser surgery to cauterize the weak spots and kill the newer blood vessels that are growing. it hurts peeps... it hurts like a burn on your arm... it feels a lot like and smells a lot like burning your finger or arm on the heating element of an iron or stove (of which i have done several times)... or try the burn or smell of burning your hair with a curling iron. only they do about 100 to 200 precise laser burns on my eye if i am having a light laser.. and between 1500 to 2000 precise laser burns if i am having a heavy laser. Now when you get to Dr. Nanda's office you are taken back and given drops to dialate your eyes and then you are sat out in the waiting room for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours (usually the 3 hours) then you are taken to this little room where you get more dialation drops and also deadening drops that deaden your eye balls so that they can do the surgery... you don't feel anything until about 20 minutes later after the laser... but you are held in place by nurses hands and your eye is held open by the doctor as he laser's your eyes through a magnifier. Your eyes water violently and swell and light becomes your enemy.... and seeing is non exsistant... that is why you have an escort to the front so they can fill out your check or get your card for you and put your pen where you have to sign... then out the door you go to find your driver home... you sit in the passenger seat with glasses and i usually with a coat over my head... as i said light is your enemy... and seeing not for a couple of days... driving actually i am released to drive at 24 hours after my actual surgery but i usually wait... and i keep my house dark. So there you have it... i am back i can see for the time being waiting for my bleeding to stop so i can go to Dr. Nanda on the 23rd for the beginning of my lasers...