Thursday, April 23, 2009

Red is the color i see

Ok guys i went to the eye surgeon again today.... and it looks like another round of lasers are in store for me. I think i am just going to resign myself to the fact that I created to much damage and right now it is paying me back. I have thickened Visceral fluid (that means I have swelling in my macula and retina) I have growing weed like blood veins that are weak and thinning to burst. Not what i was hoping for but it is just another part of the journey. My eyes were blurry today very blurry due to the swelling... but that is what it is like almost every day. or with a dark cast over things (bloody water i look through)... the visceral fluid is thickened because of the RBC's (red blood cells) that are floating around in there... I don't know guys I don't know whether to be relieved or to be scared... I guess I should be happy that I wasn't worse I guess because being scared sure as hell isn't getting me anywhere except sleepless nights, worry lines and dark circles. I guess i will just keep blowing up my screen so that I can see it... My cousin Sweet Rete gave me the suggestion of looking for items that would help me out such as voiced control ed computer and so forth.... so i may do that... I don't want to lose my job or my insurance and not sure how much longer Mike is going to "allow" me to be sick before he throws me out into the street... (of which i am sure he has thought about several times)... I am going to try to call KATS (a taxi type service) I think I will try to hire them to drive me to my appointments instead of being a burden to family and friends but i don't know if they go that far or if i can even afford it... I know that all of you are getting tired of it anyway... Today was funny Daddy took me up to my appointment because he had one at another hospital today... we left my house at 5 a.m. just so we could miss the traffic... I was sitting in the lobby of my eye clinic (Integris Building D) at 6:30 a.m. along with the security guard... My appointment was at 8:45 a.m... I was able to watch all the employee's walk in today... I am thankful though because Daddy took me and because I couldn't see to drive to even come back home if i had drove... The did the dye test on me today... they shoot red dye into your vein and then in rapid succession shoot bright lighted pictures of your eye.... you see nothing but red, pink etc... again it made me sick as a dog i was bent over trying not to throw up afterward... Talk about photosynthesis. and of course with your eyes dilated also seeing is an impossibility but today they found the spots that will burst soon and the new growth... and what they have to "spot" weld and "kill" starting the 6th of May... You know funny thing Sweet Rete told me to think about my hobbies that I could incorporate into my life if I do go blind... All need me to see to do them... Quilting, Cooking, Genealogy, Gavyn, Puzzles, Gardening... oh well i will cross that bridge when i get there i guess...

Here is a fast easy recipe I found on Obesityhelp.com: I didn't add the almonds but replaced it with pecans...

Vivian’s OATMEAL ALMOND LACE COOKIES
1 ½ cup rolled oats
1/4 cup Spenda Brown Sugar Blend
1 t. baking powder
½ cup sliced almonds ( optional )
1/3 cup unsalted butter
1 lg. egg
½ t. vanilla
½ t. almond extract
1 t. cinnamon
Preheat oven to 350* Mix oats, sugar, baking powder, almonds. Then add butter ( melted ) egg. & flavorings & cinnamon. Drop by spoonfuls on prepared cookie sheet and flatten. Bake till starts to brown around the edges. Let cookies stand 2 minutes before removing from pan.

Oh here is a book everyone should read... it's about the "right" diet... and then tells you about the food you do eat like meat, beans, veggies etc... i got it from Amazon The Encyclopedia of Healing Foods

Signing off at 200% magnification... tata...

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